“Nobody likes you!”
Recently during a pilates class, I shared a few words of encouragement for us all, “Hang in there, we can do it, we’re almost there.”
Much to my surprise, the woman next to me, who I’ve even had lunch with a few times, said “Nobody likes you!” I started to chuckle in my shocked and surprised way that I do when something like this happens and said, “Well that’s not a very nice thing to say.” Which she then replied, “Nobody likes positive people.” I chuckled again and said “that’s not true”.
Knowing my personality type, it’s important to me to have people like me. It used to be so important to me that I would conform to what others wanted or were like. I would compromise who I am to my core, but not anymore sister!
Knowing my values, strengths, who I am and whose I am allows me to continue to be me! It’s not always easy, but no one said life would be easy.
LIES
What she was saying was not true. People do like me gosh darn it. 😉 And there are many people who love and need positive and encouraging people.
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME
Whatever is in our heart comes out of our mouths. She must have been hurting or struggling with something that day, and it had nothing to do with me.
BEING ME
I will continue to be positive and encouraging – – it’s who God made me to be. It’s who I am to my core.
Years ago, my mother-in-law told me something I will never forget and I totally believe to be true. When you have a light that shines bright, you hold a mirror up to others and some people do NOT like what they see, and they end up taking it out on you. This was not the first time, nor will it be the last time.
I AM HUMAN
Of course it hurt my feelings, I am human. It hung over me the entire day. As I drove away from class that day, I was able to reflect on what just happened. I was quickly able to switch the focus on myself to her. What was going on in her that would cause her to say that. I actually felt badly for her, while still feeling a little badly for myself. 😉
Don’t get me wrong, part of me was thinking, “I’m not doing lunch with her again”, and “Maybe I should switch classes so I don’t have to be around her anymore”. My old self was fighting with my new self.
If we call ourselves Christians, we are called to look different. It’s not easy, but it’s not about me. We are commanded to show His love, His mercy, His grace. So, I will get out of my own way and will continue to shine His light and love wherever I go.
I shared this with you for 4 reasons.
Not everybody will like you.
If your personality type is similar to mine, be careful. Don’t be a people pleaser, not everyone will like you, and you will lose yourself. It’s impossible to please everyone and exhausting. STOP!
You are not alone.
We all have bumps, get our feelings hurt, struggle, etc. It just looks different for each of us.
It’s not about you (unless you said or did something that was obvious).
98% of how people react to you has more to do with them than it does you. Unless most react to you the same, then you better take a long look in the mirror.
Be you!
The best thing you can do is be you. You are here for a reason. God made only one you! No one can be you and do what you can do. You are uniquely and beautifully made.
Remember, only light can drive out darkness. 😉
Let your light shine even if it’s the only light around you.
As always, shine on,
Ali
You are SO right! I have been a people pleaser my whole life to some extent and have said ‘Yes’ when I really should have stood my ground and said ‘No’. I try to remember the phase ” saying no to someone else is like saying yes to yourself.” I often chant that to myself when I have to decline a request which stretches me too thin, or takes me away from my goals and authentic self.
Thanks for reminding me of this Ali. It’s always good to remember that people’s reactions are not your fault or responsibility.
And … I not only LIKE you, I LOVE you! (But I think you already know that) 🙂
Your friend, Andrea xx
great topic! Could not come at a better time — I love how things all happen for a reason….I nearly started crying at the subject line as I thought it was directed at me– I have had two recent incidents happen that have left me feeling self conscience, confused and frankly pretty rotten — I also, by nature, am a people pleaser and very sensitive. I tend to struggle with letting go of things too. I find that sometimes this combo can put me in the line of fire of someone else’s ‘mood’. It is good reminder to not take it personally, that it is not about me… but its hard to not be let down
I like the idea of staying true to myself regardless of others hurtful words — I know my true intentions always come from a place of compassion and general thoughtfulness
Thank you for the article
Its like we were on one of our walks – miss you! <3
Ali, thanks for this post! I miss hearing all the positive and greatness you see in life!
Keep loving on others, and keep posting so us remote folks can soak it all in!
Bless you!
Thanks for the beautiful reminder of being true to our identity in Jesus and that we are uniquely individual, created perfectly by him. I deeply appreciate your honesty, vulnerability and mirror inducing love, especially as I’m starting a new chapter with new surroundings and people; a good reminder to be me. God will pave the way to new friendships and it’s okay that not everyone is a good fit. Will continue to shine brightly!
Thank you for writing such an honest email. It is refreshing to read such an introspective account. I love you! And, YOU have changed so many lives for the better. Keep shining brightly! Love, Donna